A Dream

About as year and a half after my second wife passed away, I had a dream… About a lady.

Now, this isn’t at all unusual considering how soon after her death it happened. But this dream was different, it stuck with me.

It began with Matthew and I at some outdoor event. I looked up from whatever I was doing and there she was. Long dark hair, dark eyes, a narrow-tanned face and a slim form. She was wearing a white peasant blouse and a dark blue skirt with a colorful belt. The sun was shining on her as she walked toward Matthew and me.

I remember saying hello, and somehow the conversation got around to what she wanted. “I was hoping to be Matthew’s new Mommy,” she said. I replied, “You’re in luck, that job is still open.” And she smiled at me, with eyes that seemed to look directly into my soul.

She came close to me and asked, “What should we do now…” And made some suggestions ending in some kind of family outing.

Now, don’t get the wrong idea about this dream. It wasn’t “That” kind of dream.

Anyway, the subject of the State Fair came up, it being that time of year here in Minnesota, and she seemed to like that. Then I woke up…

Naturally I was in a hurry to get back to sleep. I wanted to see if she’d still be there. I was fascinated with her, her face, those eyes looking deep inside me, and wondered what was going to happen next.

Well, as luck would have it, I did fall back to sleep and the dream continued.

Now, this part of the dream took place in my mother’s house in Rochester, the house I grew up in. Home, you see.

I knew she was coming over and we were all going to the Fair and I was hurriedly trying to get ready. Rushing here, rushing there, packing a small backpack with the things we might need. Water, a sweater in case it got cold. But all the things I was packing and the things I was wearing were old. An old pair of jeans and for some reason an old sweater. I was in a hurry because I knew she was going to show up any minute and I wanted to be ready.

Well, all of a sudden, the back door opened and in she walked.

I was startled, and the only think I could say was, “Well, hello there.” And then I looked at her. This time she was wearing a very stylish pair of dark slacks with a wide two button belt at her slim waist and a white linen blouse. And I remember thinking, she’s very over dressed for the Fair, and that I looked like a slob in my old sweater and jeans.

She didn’t say a word, she just looked at me with those eyes that bore into my soul. Eyes that showed a deep love and her happiness to see me. Her hair was slightly pulled back now as she walked toward me without a word, right up to me and kissed me on the lips. I remember thinking, “But I haven’t kissed anyone on the lips since I last kissed my wife.” Nevertheless, I didn’t stop her.

But there was one thing that was very strange. The collar of her blouse was turned up and encircled her head with no opening. It was of a gold material and stiff. The odd thing was, that it came to a high point over her left shoulder. And with this stiff gold collar in place, when she came to kiss me, my chin bumped into it. Needless to say, it wasn’t the greatest kiss in the world, but her lips were sweet and soft.

And that’s when I woke up again.

I kept thinking, she was so nicely dressed, so perfectly dressed, not what you’d normally think of wearing for a day hiking around the State Fair. And that I was so poorly dressed in my old sweater and jeans. I felt fat and sloppy and completely unattractive in my old clothes and hurried state. While she was a lady of style and grace, completely in control, everything perfectly in it’s place.

And the way she had looked at me, with so much love, with those dark eyes that saw right passed what I was wearing, right passed the outside me, and deep into my inner being. Eyes that spoke so much, without her needing to say a word.

But that high gold collar bothered me. Was it a sign that the time to meet her was not right? And that the kiss was only a promise of more to come, just not yet.

Needless to say, I lay in bed wondering if this vision was of some future lady who was yet to cross my path or not? Should I be on the lookout for a lady with dark hair and deep eyes that could see the inside of a man like me?

And I kept thinking about how nicely she was dressed and how shabbily I was dressed. And that it didn’t seem to matter to her, she showed such love to me regardless of how I was dressed.

As I was thinking of her and this dream and wondering what it all meant, it suddenly came to me. This wasn’t some dream of a future wife or earthly soul mate. This dream was much more than that.

The lady, that haunting beautiful lady, represented something I had lost, something I was searching for. The fact that the last part of the dream took place in my old home in Rochester gave me a sense of safety, of security. But what about the way she was dressed and the way I was dressed.

And then it hit me, like a bolt out of the blue.

The Lady was a representation of God, Christ. And it didn’t matter what I was wearing or what I had ever done in my life, that Lady, GOD, Christ… Loved me.

She was perfect, I was not, but that didn’t matter.

But what of the stiff gold colored collar?

It could have been a representation of the barrier between God and man on this Earth. Allowing us to touch and see and interact, but not as completely as we will be able to once we are together in Heaven. We can touch and be close, but it prevents us from being totally together just as we who are still on this Earth can never be with God in the way we will be once we ascend to Heaven.

Or it could have been a representation of Earthly wealth and how the lust for it can keep us from a closer relationship with God.

            1 Timothy 6:10 says,

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

            And Hebrews 13:5 says,      

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

As a side note, the fact that the collar’s point over her left shoulder, shooting up like the bow of a ship, could be a sign pointing toward Heaven and God the Father. For who does the Bible tell us sits on the Right Hand of the Father?

Jesus…

And if Jesus is sitting on the Right Hand of the Father, the Father would be on Jesus’ left if we could look at them together. The point of the collar was pointing up and to the left of the lady. Interesting…

This dream wasn’t to show me the lady who would come into my life, it was to show me, that no matter what I had done in my life, no matter what I thought of myself or how I had messed up… God, Jesus, Loves me, wants to be with me, wants to comfort me, wants to help me.

And it’s the same for you. No matter how badly you think you’ve messed things up… No matter how much you’ve missed the mark… No matter how badly you think or know you’ve sinned, God, Jesus… Loves you.

            Romans 5:8

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

            And John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

This is a dream of a beautiful lady, a Beautiful Savior who loves me and wants to be with me. Who sees me for who I am, not what my past has been or what I am now… But who I can be, who I will be, who I really am. This dream shows me the promise of God’s Love for me, and it shows the promise of God’s Love for you.

The love this lady showed me in the dream is a love that sees all things and forgives all things. A perfect love, that can only come through God and His Son Jesus Christ.

I pray we all find that Perfect Love, through His Son Jesus Christ. He’s waiting…

            Revelation 3:20, Jesus says…

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

I leave you with this from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 4: Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5: Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6: Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7: Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

(Charity, in the King James, is often translated Love in other versions, but the meaning of Love in this case is that all encompassing, unselfish Love, ‘agape’ in the Greek, and Charity comes as close as we can get in the English language.)